Siege of Esperon V

Data Log 01: Adept Zimm

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Proximity Alert, functional.

Planets, galaxies, universes—bursting into life and fading into black holes. A thousand stars, born of the great, grinding eruption of two galaxies colliding. The slow pulse of a dying star. Twin stars, locked in each other’s orbit, slowly spiraling—
Amuntekh’s proximity alert blared through the screensaver.
Apparently, the green mortal—Ork, if the “Tau” codices were to be believed—had become impatient waiting for the “Tau” to return from his quest to deliver the body of the “human” for “burial rites”. The “Ork” and the smaller green creature had remained behind with Amuntekh to see what else could be scavenged from the bodies in the vast, cavernous expanse while Amuntekh indulged in his preferred screensaver.
Apparently, though, the bodies had been thoroughly molested and the “Ork” was now announcing his intention to investigate the “Sleepy Skellyton’s meat pockets”. Perhaps a reference to the gaps in his necrodermis. Whatever the intention of the “Ork,” Amuntekh was not interested in testing his reanimation protocols just to satisfy the curiosity of the “Ork”.
In a move faster than a mortal eye could track, Amuntekh swept his Rod of the Covenant into the ankles of the “Ork,” sending over 300 pounds of charging malicious intent careening into the ground with the force of a downed Nightscythe. It roared indignantly in his general direction, hauling itself to its feet.
“Close-encounter gravitational field,” Amuntekh deadpanned. “Automated protocol. Would not recommend approaching again.”
The “Ork” narrowed his eyes as if thinking very, very hard to evaluate the veracity of the statement— or perhaps trying to manage a particularly loud release of gas from his digestive tract, the expressions were very similar— before grunting and kicking its small green accomplice into cavern wall with a splat.

Now ya lissen 'ere! Lissen to da Dok!

Dere wuz so meny wayz we kud go. Decishuns decishuns! Gibbletz! We need a gretchen direkshun pikka! Gets ova ‘ere! I pikked ’im up, spins ’im round and wurred ’im to a wall. Dataway! To da big sprit in da erff! Da climmin’ wulda been tuff, so we sent Gibblitz down, an all ‘e saw wuz a swingin’ bridge. Not much ‘elp dere! Right, ’ere we go! Down da paff wiff brokken meers!
Sumfing wuzen right doh. Even da ’umie felt it. ’e started ’is whinin’ prayas, an’ it made sumfing angry! Akatakka an’ me goz ta check, an’ da wall reeshed out and tried eatin’ da skelly. Now I’z gettin’ ‘ungry sumtimes, but neva fer a skelly. Dat muck up ya toofas! Den da wall startz its talkin’! Called ‘isseff Squibby or Squiggish or sumfish. ’e said ’e wuz ’ungry, askin’ uz fer food. Me calls fer Gork winced ‘is moufs an’ eyez, buts ‘e kep goin’. So I’z went back, scrapped sum of da Gretchen jellyz off da floor, an’ sends it don ol’ Sumfish’s gullet. ‘e took it all, devowerin’ it like ‘e wuz starvin’. Sumfing not right bout it. Too meny moufs and eyez, and not a toof fer me ta keep!
Sumfish ‘ad ’isseff a nice afta foody nappy—az I’z sumtimes do meself—an’ we wend on. Da bridge Gibblets saw wuz not so skelly lookin’, all wobby an’ such. Gibblets went furst, showin’ off ‘ow iz so eazy fer ’im. Git. Den da ’umie went, an’ sumfing went dark. Floata Necra bits came down fum da shadowz an’ dey bringin’ a dark clowd wit ‘em. I wuz right close, an’ still culdin’ see in. I ‘eard ’em snappin’ at an’ fightin’ da ‘umie—not much to lissen ta—so I’z sended some shoota rounds dere way. I donna care much fer da ‘umie, but ’e donna good distrakken dem fer me ta shootz at ’em. Dis wuz da most ’elp ’e’s eva dun!
Ah gotz offsum good shotz at da floatas. Dinged ‘em up good I’z did! Da skelly and da Towie did wat dey cud. Dey try an’ save da ‘umie, but ’e wuz manga’d up fearce. Dis Dok woodinagivin up so eazy! Where wuz Gibblets? Hiding me finks. Diddina see ‘im at all da cowwad! Da bestest part, wuz da skelly Akamataka finded sum ’umie bits wit a chain choppa! CHAIN CHOPPA! Not as ’urty as me big choppa, but ’andy fer kwik ampytashuns. Don’ worry, I put it back afta ya fikksed up good! Ba ha!
Where nowz? Darez wata in da way…

da Mad Dok Gooba Noksuf

Dat wuz a good ‘ard fite, eh twaz. Da boyz be proud—Ah! Gettin’ an’ead uv meself…
I’z leff off wit da skelly gettin’ pissy at me, ya? An’ we in sum skelly cave…
A’korse ‘e came at me furst-da biggest Dok ’e’d eva seen no queshun bout dat! Da uvers wern’t be muchuva story afta. So da ditz skelly an’ me skwared off. Da uver skelly Akanatak (sumfing like dat) did sum fightin’ too. ‘Ay fink da Towza an’ da ‘umie an’ Gilbets did sum shootin’, but not tryin’ too ‘ard. Da skelly wuz right fizzed afta sum pummlin’, an’ I’z took an ‘ard wallop—took ’is choppa frew me gutz—allz da way frew me! Me legz wern’t givin’ up, so deys stood waitin’ fer da rest. Me top ‘af wuz on da way to da grund, but me big choppa don’ miss eazy, an’ struck ‘em good. Gork be ’appy, I’z kut da skelly aparts!
So dis Dok wuz’n da ruff, no queshun’, but me beins unuv da Painboyz—da meanest Mad Dok—I’z pulled meself togeva an’ took da skellyz choppa! WAAAAGH! Viktory iz mine!
Wit me legs all stitchyated, da Orky ‘unt wuz on, finkin’ I’z find moar skellys. Sumfing got Amakataka fussy, an’ ‘e fink ’e shuv me so eazy, but ’eez da unza fallin’ don sum steps! Baha! Den I ‘eard sumfing, an’ find me sum fightin’ Gretchens I did. Afta a good ol’ Orky greetin’, deyz got scared an’ pokied wit tiny stikks. No Gretchen gon gettin’ dis Dok down. Da big choppa made eazy spread jellyz wit ‘em. Amataka chased ’em awayz. I fink maybes dey took sumfing, cuz ’e wuz mad. Dat an’ everyunz shootin’ at da Gretchens. Wasted ammo ya’sk me. Da slippry pock-‘eads run off like dey do, but me an’ Gibblitz gotz us sum teef.
Dis wuz a good day. Wiff sum sweepin’, dis Dok iz back in tip-top fightin’!

Personal Log of Brother Harigutt : Planetfall

The Emperor Protects. We survived planetfall only to be taken prisoner by a race calling themselves the Tau. We were greeted and given lodging by a Tau “ambassador” in a town they are occupying. I can only guess but I suspect it to be some kind of mining town and open air prison camp. I tended to the surviving crewmen and then set off to find the walls of this place not convinced by the smiles and assurances of our “hosts” the Tau. I would wait to start a revolt or plan an escape till after I had gather more information. As is the way with any town it was easy enough to find the bar. They took standard Imperial currency without question. It was me they took a second glance at as I was a new comer. My new hell started to take shape as I learned that the whole town sat on top of a tomb and at this bar’s center a well which granted access to it. For a few coins I was told the adventurous could venture inside, blasphemy and insanity. Not long after 2 green skins and a machine heresy that had also survived the landing similarly found this way station for the damned. They pressed the bar keep into service and ventured into the well “inviting” me along out of some compulsion. Not knowing if it was genuine or a precursor to something far less civil I went with them, my thoughts largely on the dead in the tomb below. Perhaps I could quiet them if they were restless. We would soon be embroiled in combat with a trap born of warp craft followed by a small camp of green skins. After vanquishing both we make camp for the night in a tomb room where the now gone green skins had previously dwelled. We couldn’t return up the well to the surface because the bar keep had fled at his first opportunity taking the rope with him. I can’t say I blame him. Still here I am left to my own devices traveling in a tomb of unknown making with two green skins and a machine heresy. God-Emperor of Mankind grant mercy upon my soul. I will do all that I am able in your service. Why the Horizon Seeker had not ended this place I will never know. The Emperor Protects.

From da Orky mouf uv Gooba Noksuf

Me an’ Giblets impacked good an’ ‘ard. Da pinty Gretchen wuz keen ta leg it all lickty split. ’E dont like close kortas wit me mitts. Ha har! Iz topped da doorz open, an’ me Orky eyez spot some Towz kreepin’ up onus. Shooda painted dem transportz red so dey go fasta.
Dem shooty gits show’d der faces, askin’ dippy queshuns like “Ooze ’umie?” Den all proppa dem ask me an’ Giblets ta come ‘n peace. Did me skin turn ’umie pink? Peacefur? BORING dat iz! Drabby! Iz know iz best ta get close, so ’ay made dem take me to da Towie boss man. Dat bitty said dere be fightin’ and smashin’ but ‘e gave us a silly bunk spot. We’z made it all Orky and da wayz I likes.
Giblets done snuk off, but Iz too keen an’ trakked ‘im to a drinkin’ ‘ole. An’ guessit, an ‘ole is wat dey ’ad. We frew bitz in da big ’ole. I tink it waz a well er sumfing. Den we frew erselfs. Me, da Towz, da daff ’umie, an’ da skelly Amuk gonnin. Giblet came afta.
Now I dunno wat ‘appened—finkin’ da ‘umie dun it—but an angry skelly showz ’is face, hopin’ fer a fight! ’Ere we go! Da dok iz in! Orky good timez!


It was in the late hours of night cycle when the specters came to torment me in my quarters. I dare not speculate on their intent or meaning. The denizens of the warp are lies and corruption given form. No saint or soul of the glorious God-Emperor would be so horrific or cryptic. As their first light appeared I began my prayers of protection and continued them after the lights vanished until I fell asleep.
I don’t know the exact hour but shortly later I was awoke again by what I can only guess was the ship being struck hard by an attack. It must have been a wretched and honourless blow as main ship power was instantly disabled, the emergency lights and klaxons came on, and the evacuation sigils bade us to get to the escape pods. As my door locks disengaged true horror was being set free. The Horizon Seeker is a research vessel, given its charge to host a priest of Mars in his research. From my time aboard ship I had become aware the subject of his research was the study of the foul xeno breeds, the most frightening of which was living Tyranid spawn. With the power now out I was certain they would be loosed, and from the screams I knew this to be true. I barricaded myself in my room and tried to call for help with the comm panel but it was dead.
Other crew must certainly be in the same dire fear I was, so to soothe their souls and calm their minds as we waited for help, I began repeating as loud as I could, over and over, prayers of protection every citizen of the Imperium would know since youth. The sounds of battle came but clearer heads prevailed as I heard the crew change from panic to prayer. When the lull in battle came I knew I had to take the chance and make a run for the escape pods, taking as many crew members with me as I could.
The next moments were a blur. Orks and something called a Tau were battling the loosed Tyranid spawn as I ran the short corridors to an escape pod, only managing to bring two crewmen with me. We hit the escape pod release switch, I did my best to secure the two crewmen and then myself, and began to pray, not knowing if the future held planetfall or being ended by a barrage from an enemy cruiser. The Emperor Protects. The Emperor Protects. The Emperor Protects.

From da Orky mouf Gooba Noksuf:
Da ‘umies dropped waves o’ bombz. From da sky, we Orkys were gettin’ swept. Silly ‘umies dinking da WAAAAGH done ’cuz of bombz. Dere waz a chopped-up ’umie transporta me and dis Gretchen Giblets stepped inta. Pinky ’umie bits on eveyting. Da boyz waz ’ere alright. Giblets waz bein’ all fussy and pinky—den we’z got picked up! Blazted ‘humies! Put me back!
Stow’ayz? ‘ow in da warp dis ’appen? An’ wit da git Giblets? ‘oy! ’e maddens me! I spared ’is gullet ’n kept me grabbas off ’is neck cuz ’e snoopy’d a bit. Findin’ dings iz whazee’s good at. Dis is no place for da best Orky doks I sayz! I’z need smashin’! Shootin’! Da Orks nee—
Gork ‘eard me! Da ship gotz all shakey. Litez ’n sirenz ’n ’umie panickyness! Giblets looked ’umie pink. Skared ’e was! Not Gooba! Not dis Orky dok! I ’erd screamin’. Good! ‘ere we go! ’ere we go Giblets! ’n troo da doorz came creepy beastz wit hooky bits! Fightin’ time! Me starez inta da creeps’ eyez, ‘n I seez da fear!
Me slugga gave up fasta den Giblets, but me angy shoutin’ bringz it bak! Dakka! Le’s go! Jus’ den da creepyz dead, an’ more swarmy dings showz up! Day tiny! Dinking me big choppa iz gunk?! Iz smashin’ dem good. Da buggies bit me good, makin’ me inna bitz get ‘umie. Gork ’eard me still, and da fight waz still imme! Stranga den da ’umies, a Nekro-skelly waz dere. An’ sum git arma’d up!
Dey waz clumzy. Shootin’ an’ missin’ an’ squakin’ about. Me Orky strengff heldz up, an’ I sayz Giblets go! Screamin’ like iz time fer killin’, Giblets an’ me tak da first espress droppa down. ‘ere we go Giblets! Ta planetside! Stop ya shivrin’ an’ grin all proppa like da Ork do!

2100 Local hours, Day 97 since last date check

Horizon Seeker, Holding Orbit over Esperon V
Today was among the most interesting of this assignment, and we may have finally discerned the nature of the energy spikes that first warranted our attention. By the Emperor’s hand, one of the recovery teams managed to bring back an intact, inactive Necron. They said it had been in a room within the cave system discovered last week, where a stalagmite had formed around it.
Its presence suggests that this may be an inactive Tomb World, in which case the energy readings coming from the poles and equator would be due to the crypts. It appears, at least for now, that the Tau we captured was telling the truth. I trust the xeno about as far as I can kick him, though, and he will stay in his cell until a more thorough interrogation can be performed. And of course, by then he’ll be dead, so it’s hardly a concern.
I have never encountered a Necron before, and having seen one I pray that I never will again. It looks to be more ornately detailed than I’ve been led to believe, though every bit as menacing as the stories. It had no weapon, probably scavenged eons ago. It would stand taller than a man if it were upright, and seems perfectly solid despite being a skeleton. I’ve forbidden the men from going near it, and most of them are terrified of it to begin with. I am eager to begin my own studies, and will continue detailing them here.

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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